By now you have all seen the e-mail and/or post on social media about something said or written by Bill Cosby, commonly referred to now as, "I'm 83, and I'm tired."
And you've heard about how it's a complete load of crap, and how he recently went on NBC's Meet The Press to set the record straight and call out the jack-meat douche-nozzle who tried to use his name to forward the greatest hits of the Tea Party's racist, treasonous horse-shit.
All well and good. But lost in this little saga is the message for the idiots that sunk their few remaining teeth into this story --- hook, line, and sinker --- and were forced to spit the hook when they realized they got too close to the boat.
This, my gullible guppies, is for you.
When I talk to Conservatives, teabagger disciples in particular, they are quick to assert that they can think for themselves; they go to great lengths to prove that they have come to their ideas on their own; they are eager to illustrate how they do their homework on all the issues.
Well, bullshit.
There was a glaring red flag sitting in the FIRST TWO WORDS of this missive. "I'm 83." That's the first sentence. And while it's quite easy to spend the 27 seconds typing in 'Bill Cosby age' on Google, you never even bothered to do that. The most rudimentary piece of research known to man, with all of the tools literally at your fingertips, and you blow it off.
Bill Cosby is 75.
You do your homework? Yeah, go fuck yourself.
But let's take this a step back for a minute. Let's look at the person who actually wrote this. Because that's where this story gets good, and that's where the teabagger scum really get their comeuppance.
Oh, sorry, teabaggers, my bad --- here you go....
If somebody were to try to perpetrate this kind of a fraud in the Progressive community, it wouldn't get past square one. Why? Because Progressives are intelligent, logical, and very wary of surprising or contradictory information.
For instance, a post suggesting that Donald Trump made a speech in 1997 advocating better social services support for single mothers in poor black neighborhoods wouldn't get five clicks on any social media outlet before getting called out for being the fabrication that it was. Because Progressives DO their homework, and they want the TRUTH to be what they rally around --- not just a message that they agree with. That's why you rarely, if ever, see this kind of thing circulating in Progressive circles: Progressives don't buy it.
But I remember about a half-dozen of these famous-person-says-something-except-they-didn't-actually-say-it frauds that have run rampant among conservatives. And why is that, do you think?
The person who put this together knew exactly what he was doing. He knew that his target audience was a bunch of ignorant, racist bumble-fucks who wouldn't bother for one second to validate even the most basic items in this alleged commentary. So he wrote it, put the face of an iconic Hollywood celebrity behind it, and he picked a black one because he knew what kind of a reaction he'd get from racists if the source of the material was African-American. "See? Even one of them there n*ggers thinks them rag-heads oughtta be shot!"
And he was right on. Look how far this thing got. Millions and millions of posts, forwards, re-tweets, up-votes, and blog comments all cheering and w00t-ing and carrying on --- not knowing, or even suspecting, that it might be a lie. Millions of people. All as gullible and ignorant as a 3-year-old. M I L L I O N S...
Including you.
The author knew that this was an easy, cheap, effective way to spread that kind of hateful and neo-fascist message: put some chum in the water, watch the feeding frenzy. Teabaggers are just like sharks, actually: some of the dumbest creatures on the planet, only interested in their own survival, completely insensitive to the well-being of others. Fitting analogy.
So yeah, that's you: you took the bait. You were used. You weren't just used, you were so predictable in your ignorance and naivete, the author knew he could use you and designed the message specifically for that purpose.
You're so stupid, smart people know they can manipulate your stupidity to do what they want you to do. How does that make you feel?
This has actually been the mantra of the Republican Party for decades: flood media with hyper-patriotic and racist lies, and the ignorant masses will believe you no matter how ridiculous it sounds. So not only did you screw the pooch on this one; your entire political philosophy has been spoon-fed to you for the purpose of turning you into a programmable zombie. You're a pawn. You're a sheep.
You're a worthless piece of shit, and your party doesn't give a shit if you live or die --- except on election day.
So: I hope I've brightened your day just a smidge, enjoy the rest of it, and be sure to check back frequently --- I beat the mother fuck out of Conservative dick-heads at least once a week here. Just another friendly service I offer.
That, and saying "cunt" way more than I probably should.
