Ricki? Hi. Shut the fuck up and keep reading. Because I have a serious question for you, one that eventually you will have to answer.
The most dangerous thing in this world is an idiot with a microphone, and that's what you've become while spouting this fucked up water birth bullshit. As if Jenny McCarthy didn't do enough damage with her vaccines-cause-Autism horse manure; now here you are trying to kill infants before they're even 10 days old. Fortunately, there are medical experts out there who are trying to get valid, scientific facts in front of the sheep that are stupid enough to follow your advice.
There are a myriad of things that are inherently dangerous in this water birth witchcraft -- I'm going to skip right over drowning, to begin with -- and focus on one that's probably the most deadly, but also the most overlooked.
See, kitten: when mommy is lovingly awaiting her bundle of joy in the Jacuzzi, she has largely no control over her bladder or her bowels. So while she's huffing and puffing and pushing and squeezing, little bursts of urine and feces are being squirted out into the water. The longer she's in there, the more polluted that cesspool becomes.
The cesspool into which she is then going bear her child, CONTAINING CONTAMINATED WATER THAT THE INFANT WILL BREATHE!!!
Baby comes out of the toilet healthy as a horse, Apgar scores totally normal, and everyone's happy. It's only when the autopsy 2 weeks later reveals that a massive infection caused by fecal matter in the baby's lungs quickly spread to its heart, blood and brain that everyone figures out what the hell happened.
But hey, who is this guy who thinks he so smart? None of your fucking business. But if you don't believe me, then maybe -- for the sake of the unborn children you are destined to murder, MAYBE -- you'll listen to a prominent Harvard-educated obstetrician. Read and educate yourself.
Oh, and lest we think this isn't actually a legitimate danger, there was yet another infant death caused by water birth JUST THIS WEEK!
So, Ms. Lake. Now we get to the meat of the matter. There will soon be a woman who, absent your stupid suggestion, would have had a normal birth in a hospital where there are proper medical staff and all the participants breathe air; but instead decides to birth her baby like a dolphin after hearing about this idiocy from you. Then her baby will die, and it will be nobody's fault but yours. It is a statistical inevitability that this will happen.
So here's the question. And look, bitch: whether you answer it now or answer it later, answer it you will -- and God will be listening:
Are you going to attend the funeral?
